Influences (or Why I Write the Way I Do)

Natalie Goldberg (free-flowing writing)
Clarissa Pinkola Estes (wild woman writing)
Jane Hutchison (direct-to-the-point writing)
Ernest Hemingway (simple words writing)

Monday, September 7, 2009

Faith and Friendships

i've just finished the last of the harry potter series - deathly hallows. the series are loose in the theme of good vs. evil that it could be open to a lot of interpretations. without giving it away for those who have not read the book, the series is the culmination of harry's battle with lord voldemort but at the same time, in a philosophical sense, his search for who he is, in life and death.

poignantly, rowling tells us that it is in surrendering, rather than in fighting, that one finds direction, finds illumination, the light. but the process can be harrowing. literally, as harry did, one must go down to the depths, to muck, to bare soil and dig in with your hands --- real manual labor. suffering has to test you physically. labor done as a form of sacrifice, and of homage. homage as we are never alone in our struggles. there are people who directly are there for us, the solid walls and floors and ropes that hold us up, keep our eyes, minds and hearts focused. but there are also those seemingly against us, working against our better judgment but whose actions and fates in the end, are meant to serve the same purpose of saving us.

in life and death, there are friendships real but they are never as we imagine, or as we hope to be. reading it, i could see its message first in what i am doing. how as i feel, i'm still on the foot of the mountain, and it's such a hard climb and even the way down could be tortuous. but i must go on. i must breathe in the shadows and the nights and the dark ground. i read the book at the time when i'm contemplating on the meaning of friendships, whether i have ever been a good friend, whether i merit friendship, and what may have i done for friendships gone astray. it is hard to question one's self. because as we, as i, do not have the answers to our questions. the answers unravel in themselves, and in their time. i treasure the book for giving me solace. it did not show the answers to my but it gave me faith, that in time, these answers will come and everything will be alright.

Beautiful pic from

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