perhaps because i'm in an awkward age. a single mom, at 38. an age when most of my male contemporaries are married, already balding tummy-big fathers, or have gone 'bi' or have crossed over the sexual divide. an age when the men i know who interest me are too old to be my dad (bless your soul, Dad!), too far (like my other love George C.) or are just too old, too hooked up on work, on making the fast buck of consulting they hardly notice women anymore. you know, that age for men, past 50 yet to hold a senior citizens' card when reading becomes the sleeping pill, and not sex?
so at my age, and here at the village where i'm surrounded day and night by boys literally becoming men in my eyes. who look at you with a swagger and confidence. who confidently walk naked above the waist, flaunt their lean bodies in the sun, while smiling at you with a little lilt on the cheek. how can one not help feeling 'cougar'-y (now is that even a word?)