Influences (or Why I Write the Way I Do)

Natalie Goldberg (free-flowing writing)
Clarissa Pinkola Estes (wild woman writing)
Jane Hutchison (direct-to-the-point writing)
Ernest Hemingway (simple words writing)

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Losing

just two weeks ago, i introduced yaman to www.disney.com/go/princess then to www.barbie.com to www.disney.com.au/DisneyChannel/playhouse until she settled to www.nickjr.co.uk for dora the explorer. eversince, i've never spoken to my daughter for more than 30 minutes a day. told myself, just let her play and enjoy it. after all she's just a kid. until i noticed, her play hours stretching until 930pm. got the shock of my life when after chiding her that we're no longer talking, we stopped, so we talked and it was until about 1013pm! for the past week, we'd hook up over skype but after a few minutes of warming up each other with hello's and how are you's, yaman would click on her favorite dora and glue away playing, the helpless me looking on. starting just last monday, i've imposed a curfew. play stops at 9pm and ohhh, did she hate it. like manny pacquiao, yaman would her fist and arc it as if about to hit me. oh no this is wrong. from experience, i know taunting yaman with the same anger would do no good. reprimanding her using anger further fuels hers. i had to be mother theresa, Mama Mary, and mrs. doubtfire rolled into one. begging, soothing, stern but still motherly. after a minutes she calmed down, and after a while we were already talking about her birthday party this october. i know i just diverted her attention. i know i haven't talked to her about the limits in playing and that, it's the highest no-no to hit, or even dare to hit, one's elders, especially one's mom. but i leave it at this. and i know i haven't done much. i really am afraid to lose my daughter.

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