Influences (or Why I Write the Way I Do)

Natalie Goldberg (free-flowing writing)
Clarissa Pinkola Estes (wild woman writing)
Jane Hutchison (direct-to-the-point writing)
Ernest Hemingway (simple words writing)

Saturday, October 16, 2010

As Yaman Turns 5

as Yaman turns 5 tomorrow, i look back how far we've come since our days in guijo. our conversations are heavier now but we laugh more. just days ago, i had to explain to her as she asked, why her birthday falls on the 17th of october. i had to pretend that not a near 5-year old is asking me the question. rather, i saw her as an adult requiring a straight (and straight-faced) answer.

she was born on october because like any other baby growing on a mommy's tummy, she had to stay there for 9 months, having been 'put there' around february. so counting nine months with my fingers, i translated my answer to its math equivalent, and led her to counting. i managed to divert yaman from asking, why was she put there around february, when she instead she wondered, from what tummy i came from. this ended our conversations with me running down the names of brother and sister, the others coming from lola's tummy after me. 

i know as she turns 5, there would be more questions from Yaman that could be more uneasy and hard to answer for a mom like me. in 5 years i still think i have not cared enough for her, i've not been hands-on, and i'm not giving her the best answers, at all. but i try to be, i strive to be. i try to learn from my mistakes. then perhaps as Yaman becomes older, i could grow a little bit wiser, with her.

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