Influences (or Why I Write the Way I Do)

Natalie Goldberg (free-flowing writing)
Clarissa Pinkola Estes (wild woman writing)
Jane Hutchison (direct-to-the-point writing)
Ernest Hemingway (simple words writing)

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Sleep Apnea

eversince i've gained the bulk of weight at 140lbs above, two years ago, i have been snoring, loudly. in guijo, mom would complain about how embarrassing it would be to our neighbors as my snore could be heard from the street as late as 6 o'clock in the morning. right then, i would not mind as i wake up ok. my mom likens my snoring to someone running out of breath, of the raucous intake of breath through my mouth and the almost 3-second lapse before breathing again.  as if i am breahting my last.  because of my snoring, yaman would learn not to hug me while sleeping because it's useless. my snore scares the night and daylights out of here. one time, she switched positions, her pillow by my feet perhaps because she just can't stand another night of frog chorusing beside me.

now at 152 lbs (down from 160lbs in perth last week), i'm beginning to take snoring seriously. just this month, i'm beginning to have headaches upon waking in the morning. this is not every day, the headaches. but to have a headache while sleeping more than 8 hours is not usual, and not healthy. just last monday, i complained to ShadowMan of having trouble breathing. i didn't know i was snoring then. but ShadowMan said i was, a dangerous sounding kind of labored breathing.  last night, my first night here in naga, had a headache as i wake up to urinate, one around 2am, another around 5am. by 9am, my head was spinning again and i wanted to cry from the frustration. this is sleep apnea. headaches are caused by the obstruction of the steady flow of air through the brain. more than once, my fear of dying from sleep is no longer an impossibility.

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