today, this is what i ate: 1 sunny side up, 2 hotdogs and 1 pandesal. for lunch, japanese shabu-shabu, kakiage bento, mixed and tuna sashimi. then two slices of pizza (chorizo/ spinach) and 3 servings of (seafood and tomatoes). yesterday, i ate similarly. gorging that is. on corned beed, 3 cups of rice, seafood noodles, cereals, skyflakes, salad and american baked spareribs (the last two at cravings --- it should now read, Craving No More). then cappuccino, san mig's 3-in-one coffee, del monte pineapple juice, black ice cream, and tiramisu. i try to savor every bite. remember the mesh of sour juicy tomatoes, the black and white frosting on the middle of black and white layers of cake, even the blandness of dry spareribs as if the cook didn't care who to serve it. like a cannibal concerned more with the flesh than the taste of it, this is what it feels like. to eat as if there's no tomorrow. the concern more on the tomorrow.
starting tomorrow, i won't be eating any of these, for the next 45 days. i'm not sure whether i won't be eating any of these ever. i'm not sure how not eating of these would make me feel, whether i'll feed good enough to persist on the abstinence. i'll know within 45 days