Saturday, July 23, 2011
Yaman is sick today. as an absentee parent, i see how vulnerable i am. she barely talked, was on the sofa, lying, most of the time. through my mom, i wished to embrace her. check her temp, massage her feet and just lie with her there, her feet on my lap. i want to be the one to carry her to bed, check she's comfortable underneath the covers, make sure there's enough water for her to drink in case she wakes up feeling dehydrated, as she usually does when sick. Yaman sleeps straight through the night but now in this condition, i know she'll wake up very two to three hours, grumbling, moving about, sometimes crying. i almost cried as i told her, 'how i wish i'm there with you anak. mommy should be the one caring for you.' and she pushed her cheeks back, controlling the tears. here so far away, i am vulnerable.