Influences (or Why I Write the Way I Do)

Natalie Goldberg (free-flowing writing)
Clarissa Pinkola Estes (wild woman writing)
Jane Hutchison (direct-to-the-point writing)
Ernest Hemingway (simple words writing)

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Fairness

indeed, why does God bestow us with sunsets if not to say, that no matter how the day has been, a magnificent splendor that only He can design, awaits us.  i know that Shadowman and I are part of his grand design in our individual lives. it matters why we met this time, and why we met at all. 

just three nights ago, i had one of the worst dreams ever. a female seer prophesied that the future of our relationship would be maindatahun. the dream ended abruptly, that it was not enough to throw important questions like, 'in what way?' and 'how can we avoid it?'. 

i am sharing this dream here as a way to dispel the possibility of misfortune. just as if if one dreams about death, one should talk about it to avoid it. 

i am not ignoring that Shadowman and I be meant for prosperity, other than posterity. for who would not want a blissful and stable relationship? but that, i would desire fairness too. fairness, in the sense, that if God brought us back together, and for a purpose, then perhaps it is justified to ask that we be able to live and give witness to this purpose by living our togetherness to its fullness.  not that i desire a perfect seamless relationship because testing does happen.  but i desire that we may be spared from tragedy above all that would not only affect us, but also the lives connected with us. 

until now, i could still not reconcile, am still searching for a lasting and quiet peace, why two broken lives made whole again by togetherness could be fated as tragically. 

may this dream remain just a dream, soon to be buried in the recesses of memory, and deep sleep.

No comments: