Influences (or Why I Write the Way I Do)

Natalie Goldberg (free-flowing writing)
Clarissa Pinkola Estes (wild woman writing)
Jane Hutchison (direct-to-the-point writing)
Ernest Hemingway (simple words writing)

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Confirmation

i am fully one with the spirit
with arms open wide to the Lord's grace and love

Monday, February 27, 2012

I Do, I Will

i just felt it. finishing is a done deal. just a prelude to what awaits, a responsibility greater than producing a book. like my life will be rewritten all over again. and while in the former, it was just me at the center, holding the baton of the band. now it's like facing a whole orchestra of onlookers, awaiting for symphony to arise from the many levels of life that i will finally lead in the words 'i do'. and so yes, i will.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Family

for a moment, just after dawn broke and cast a dark brown sheen on the bedroom from the east, the two of the three most important people in my life were right beside me. the sleeping Hubby who, thank God, did not snore over the night. and my lovely Abalantung who, after a slight mishap last night, was slumped tenderly beside Zoe, her' colegiala' ragdoll. in this  just one moment, one glimpse of the future was made real. and how often do we come across these 'moments', when we realize deep love and a quiet onrush of peace? so there i was, holding the hands and bodies of each one of them at the same time. and here i am, content with the blessing of family.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Next Three Days

in the next 3 days, mabubuo man giraray pamilya ta. makakaturog man giraray kitang magtaraid. makakan na magkahampang. asin maralakaw na karaputan kamot. a whiff of our future in the next 3 days.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Stuck with Numbers

decided just to stay put and work with numbers. while straddling with the proceedings of the impeachment court and coping with the confusing profusion of '1' and '0' in the tables containing qualitative data. i could feel my very alone-ness while doing this phd and it could one trying ordeal, stuck on this chair, and making sure, the numbers are alright.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Ashes

father philip is one good reason to hear mass at carmelite. his interpretation raises attention. how ash wednesday is symbolic of three things: (1) reminder of our earthly and hence, humble essence; thus, from dust to dust one shall return; (2) recovery and reconciliation, in our relationship with the Lord; and, (which he stresses as the 'positive' meaning of Lent, and the one which i like most), (3) reclamation of our souls. the last, reminding us that we are not all body just as the 'from dust-to dust' parallel signifies.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

41 in 21

what do i celebrate at 41?
when my dad was still alive
he said, the best word to describe me was this -
late-bloomer

i was the smallest in my kindie class at 6
i hardly made noise in grade 1 and can't even spell 'stem'
i didn't mind being taken over in high school
even now, i feel like i still don't care about the serious things

but despite, my life is a-bloom even at this late
had a Yaman at 35, the best ever gift
close to 39, the love of my life returned
at 41, still studying, always studying
but in what i believe is worth it

at 41, i am kinder and i feel blessed with kindness
acceptance, forgiveness and tolerance
i love my mom deeply
i take great pride of my brother and sister
my dad, for me, is still the best there is
and while there are some wishes unfulfilled
and there are hopes crushed still
i have learned to embrace the life that i have
in all its moody and rainy sunsets
i love this life
and it is enough reason to celebrate

Monday, February 20, 2012

Yaman 's things

Happy birthday mommy
yaman likes dinousours
and zoobles and squinkies
yaman likes t-rex and triceratops]
yaman likes to fart a stinky smell

Yaman Says

Yaman says...

Daniel Armstrong
Squinkies
Zoobles
Zinkies (baby ng squinkies)
bading si yaman
yaman is chinese girl
yaman likes squinkies
yaman likes zoobles
yaman likes zinkies

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Carmelite

How can one not feel serenity upon entering this place?  This garden is as serene as the soul of Christ.  The walk is bearable, even effortless, from the gate to Carmelite Church with a road that says, 'You're welcome, my child. As I am always here...'

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Starting the Stat

stat analysis starting, with 35 households fully paid. i wonder whether my sampling was ever correct? or should it be 'correct' or instead, 'valid'? how may i be able to justify 35 for fully paid?

Friday, February 17, 2012

Yaman's Rhymes

one + one Yaman
two + two Lapu Lapu
three + three christmas tree
four+four pour-pabor
5 +5  voltes five
6+6 cheesystix
7+7 7-11
8+8 chocolate
9+9  cloudnine
ten+ten walanggagalaw

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Evidence of the Non-Word

when all is finished and written, the evidence would just be what's on paper. evidence of the many steps made, to and fro. of the many words said in requests, questions, comments. of the commute and the treks to sites previously unknown. of the times devoted to thinking and just staring into space, to make sense of whatever is at hand.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Friends

the friends of my life highlight that i was once a teacher, that i studied highschool in an exclusive girls' school where i belonged to at least three cliques. conversations do not run deep but they are like threads that continue in color, with talks of death and grief, of daughters and new beginnings, of recuperation and hope.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Saimo ang Puso Ko

bago pa magluya signal
kakaskasun ko na ini
maiparam saimo agum ko
kung gano mo ako pinaugma
sa nag-aging taon asin si nainot pa
sa pagrukyaw kan pagkamoot na
kan aki pa kita nagpuon
ang pag-ako sa kung ano, isay
an sakong pagkatao sa nagdalagang mga taon
ang pakikiugma, paghibi, pagdangog
sa sakuyang buhay
sa pusong itinao, puso man ang karibay
saimo lang ang sakuya
sa panghabang panahon

Monday, February 13, 2012

Our Love

our love is natural and effortless

Sunday, February 12, 2012

From Poh to Batch 87

as our 25th anniversary celebration in high school ends today, perhaps it would be fitting to commemorate this occasion with what i remember from Kung Fu Panda 2, which i saw for the first time today with Yaman:

the past is dead
it is not who you were that matters 
but who you decide to be
from this day forward

i dedicate this to JOAN ROAN-CO and all of Batch 87 for the next 25 years...

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Just Happy

while the Hubby prepares my script, Yaman prepares her squinkies, in sets.  i am still not into the fieldwork while Batch 87 is out to have a blast on its 25th year this weekend. but i am content, half-content. i am close to my loved ones in my peaceful happy world.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Real Time

what can be more beautiful than seeing
you have a real time of your life
with an equally beautiful daughter,
the one whom you miss a lot from down under
i can only sigh with joy knowing that
from hereon we're building our dreams

Monday, February 6, 2012

Another Day

this technology does not cooperate
bringing out the worst in her
there are times like these
but there is always another day
where the grass is green
the sky is blue
and roses are red

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Close

a few hundred miles more and i'm home.

Friday, February 3, 2012

Home Uli

i await your open arms mga padangat ko! going home for loved ones pa rin even though it's called fieldwork! Raya and Naga, here I come!

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Oversight Comm

after preparing the letters, schedules, batch poems, now oversight. sure, bring it on!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Away with the Tempts

this is the second time i threw a food temptation though yet to be expired or still newly bought. the first was a bag of corn chips. chucked it into the bin after gobbling about a handful. and today, a fresh round of brie cheese has been dumped as well. it is allowed to relax one's limits and eat the forbidden once in a while. but to avoid these diversions from being a habit, one must find courage against giving in to nth helpings before it's too late. so bye bye junk. i care for my weight more.