Influences (or Why I Write the Way I Do)

Natalie Goldberg (free-flowing writing)
Clarissa Pinkola Estes (wild woman writing)
Jane Hutchison (direct-to-the-point writing)
Ernest Hemingway (simple words writing)

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

No Giving Up

this happens. you are confident, then suddenly shot down. hayyyy...anyway, the goal always is to stand up, stand up, and stand up. and not give up.

Monday, July 29, 2013

Ate Grace

the box is already at ate grace's house. looking at her in conversation over pancit, beef pies, and gelatine, ate grace hasn't changed at all. as with her green timber house - warm, cozy and decked with a lot of bric-a-bracs. she is one person worth coming back to, in perth. and i will be back, next year. thanks ate grace:)

Sunday, July 28, 2013

The Perth I Love

after a sumptuous despidada last night which jim warren calls a 'biblical epic' with the bunch bunch bunch of food and guests, i'm left now counting the days to leaving. in my heart, i know there is no leaving perth at all. this is already my city too. and i will love it, as the memories with and of the people who came yesterday and shared the night with me, will keep perth alive always. pictures coming soon...

Friday, July 26, 2013

Countdown

my baby lies asleep. on a friday, perhaps she played much in school. won't be seeing her in the next two nights. will just keep on staring at her, curled up round some cushions. i love you my Abalantung. we're just counting the days.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

I'll Miss...

after the despedida on saturday, then, i can pack. the luggage are just waiting outside.

i'll definitely miss perth. my routine of waking up early at 430am and walking to uni along south street around 7am.

i will miss my supervisors, especially Jane, who pushed hard and squeezed, and is still squeezing the best out of me.

i'll miss all my very good friends - roxanne, nicole, yanti, charan, dirk, sia and muninggar.

i'll miss the cappuccino from the library.

i'll miss my desk.

i'll miss the phd life of quiet and madness.

i'll miss this. and i'm treasuring all the memories.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Reconciling Files

the top shelves have been cleared. tomorrow, the naga files need reconciling as well as the journal articles on this journal separator/shelf just beside me. then the last round of scanning. phew!

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Breathe

breather. when there's so much still to reconcile and save and file, breathe.
when the only option is to wait for the universe to unravel, breathe
in the hope of settling down one's spirit, just just breathe.
thanks, Leo.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Winding Down

the balikbayan box has been resealed, rearranged, and waiting to be closed and transported to ate grace's house this sunday.

the blue samsonite and dark brown IT luggage have been taken down and waiting their turn outside.

cleared the leftside cabinet. won't be bringing much clothes home after all.

perhaps there'll be a lot of space for my notebooks, books and important articles.

ah, the last second week. less than 14 days, pauli na ako:)

Sunday, July 21, 2013

The Swan

how can i leave perth without bidding goodbye to the mighty Swan River on its eastern side? so today, with roxanne and yanti, i'm taking my first and last walk for this year along its banks and will breathe the sea air and listen to the gulls hovering by.  i will sit on my favorite bench and reminisce the conversations with janty as i share the same with my two great buddies with me.  today's the perfect weather, sunny with a little hint of clouds. the Swan will be all blue in splendour. the time i come back, i'm bringing no less than Yaman with me.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Last Two Weeks

the last two weeks for clearing and reconciling
cleaning and removing and discarding
the luggage will be taken down by tomorrow
dusted and checked - the body and its wheels
can't wait to get back home and start anew

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Jane

the writing is winding down. one chapter is still imperfect. one has taken off. the other is in its final form. the writer is still advised to think logically, systematically. will meditate more to get this focus. you are right, jane. no matter how i say no, you are always right.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Revising

the end in editing of the fourth revised version of chapter 3 is almost in sight. tortuous isn't it? that's real phd writing for you. revisions are a totally different world from draft writing. i believe in the process. i'm sticking with it, for much of will.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Tittle Tattle

the daughter is so busy with monster high, the mother is busy looking for a condo
the daughter asks, what'S RIP? the mother asks, what's RFO?
the daughter exclaims, "mommy, bili mo ko...". the mother exclaims, "ay naku, kailan ba?"

Monday, July 15, 2013

Thankful as Always

the antidote to impatience, nerves is gratitude. i am grateful always Lord. i have faith. and just as i am doing for this thesis, i will abide by the process. thank You.

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Another Box

some stuff have been packed and the box is full. still biding time for sealing this. i'm still deciding whether to get another box or not. what is there left to pack? journal articles? annual city government reports? printouts of all 100+ interviews? gosh, then i still need another box. which means I'M TAKING EVERYTHING BACK HOME!!!

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Ironing

saturday is ironing day. and so sorry to miss the indonesian dinner again at yanti's house:(

Friday, July 12, 2013

No Fading

it's the usual friday. somehow, because it's a friday and it's semester break, uni's a bit dull. the supervisor and arc staff are off on a book workshop and both me and the German roommate are so engrossed with work, we hardly look at each other. time like these, i wish this 'world' could just fold up and lead me to the other life waiting for me up there in the philippines. but for now, the enduring continues. but the love doesn't fade. it's what keeps me hanging.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Box

it's quite interesting
all the life we have in one place
can all be summed by a box
what you put there
and what you leave behind
tells a lot of about
what you need
and care about
all in a box
all in a suitcase
our lives are measured
in a box too
our lives end

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Home in the City

this is my ideal unit. no walls, no protruding furniture, no carpet to trip over. just space space space for the chi to move, sway and flow. i imagine living, sleeping and working here until the sun in the east warms the interiors in the morning and its setting on the west looms the closing of another productive day in the evening. i will be living here.

Monday, July 8, 2013

Tripping in Ortigas

there is something amusing and relaxing looking at condos for rent in ortigas. i've been 'tripping' online. from the chic designs of units at the renaissance towers to the ordinary yet relatively cheap and spacious units at megaplaza. now, i'm going available units at malayan plaza. with how much i'm paying here for a month at perth, i could already get a 40sqm fully furnished unit in ortigas. it's very exciting browsing through the images. starting over is really a wonderful venture. now that i know what i want, will be, and how i will get to the desired destination. i'll be in one of these units soon.

Sunday, July 7, 2013

The Analytical Framework - Yes!

the desire to 'go' woke me up today. used to waking up at 430am from monday to saturday, the body clock was triggered much earlier at 4am. and though i've willed the body to let me sleep more since it's a sunday, just couldn't. my mind is already alert, looking back at the amazing week, where because of focus, zeal and the inspiration drawn from the One Up There, the universe, the analytical framework, on the third revision, finally took off. my confidence is soaring because i've tied it exactly as the analysis went in the eight major chapters. which means one crucial thing. that the thesis is consistent and valid. my spirit is really soaring. i'm confident now of going home and still maintaining focus. because now the framework has been consolidated and tested - with flying colors. so here i am naga, and manila. i'm ready for the new life in store in the philippines. i'm finishing the phd along with it:)

Saturday, July 6, 2013

I Love You Vitti

i love you Vitti
for all that you are and have come to accept
your love of short hair
of boots, silver, leather and ritzy shoes
the moles on your face
and your intelligent wrinkles
that hearty laugh easily triggered
your stares when concentrating transfixed
the discipline you've carried through
to maintain fit, alert and focused
the deep knowing and the desire
to restore, recover relationships
and build dreams around faith and family
your motivation to push onward with happiness
i just love you

Friday, July 5, 2013

Visualising

i can feel it. i'm walking inside the grand hall. i'm taking its massive elevators, then walking amid the japanese-styled rooms, arranged like a panopticon where everyone sees what one is doing without really looking, noticing. privacy where all eyes but no eyes can see. i am here to see someone. then after our meeting, i'll leave the headquarters on to the building just across the street where the heart of IED lies. there my white desk awaits, adorned by a statuette of a grand lady in white, splendour and riches all around her, elegant in form, confident, assured. this is me. this is where i will be.

Thursday, July 4, 2013

My Philosophy

simplify your life. 
find time. 
exercise. 
take a walk.
smile a lot. 
surrender things undone. 
refresh the day for tomorrow. 
will happiness into your life. 

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

The Voice Behind

it's this voice, this tiny but powerful voice one has to follow in the writing. the voice that says not to make short cuts. to read in order to be clear. the one which tells you, 'i'm just not satisfied --- you have to explain more'. one just has to let go then. to stop, read, understand then write. that's how quality writing is made. the hands build on thinking that builds on ideas that has to be applied to be given flesh.

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Gratitude

it's all coming together now. i'm just right on track. 6 months to the revisions. these will all be over in october.  preferably before my abalantung turns 8. thank you Lord as always for the daily inspiration. i am grateful for all these and more, every day.