Friday, May 30, 2014
Not Men, But Relationships
it's not the men, it's the relationship. i remember Alvin, my good friend from ADB. about a year as friends, he admitted that it crossed his mind to pursue or court me. till he changed his mind, realizing that i was easier, though more mental, to talk to. in other words, in me he found a friend, a sister - that's my role in his life. and in one way, i too admitted to him. That i appreciated him more as a friend. and if he did court me, we could have regretted it because we will not end up as friends, like this close kind of friend. so when i look back at my past relationships, it does cross my mind that, perhaps, i should have not entered into that kind of relationship with this or that. that perhaps, if i chose the friendship route, and was more careful and focused on the value of friendship, there would be no loss. and i may be right. because the past three relationships all happened very fast, all happened with eyes closed to trust, like jumping off a cliff with no prayer but to just soar and soar, not fall. except for Yaman's dad, the others would have just been my friends. i lost potentially good friends and that is regrettable.