Influences (or Why I Write the Way I Do)

Natalie Goldberg (free-flowing writing)
Clarissa Pinkola Estes (wild woman writing)
Jane Hutchison (direct-to-the-point writing)
Ernest Hemingway (simple words writing)

Saturday, June 21, 2014


In a dream, I saw his face. A gentle face with happy eyes and a fullness of character... A fullness, completeness, that I could not yet give justice to in words. Busog, buo, hitik. That's how the dream made me feel such that I was smiling upon waking up. That dream came while I was struggling with heartbreak in 2012. I could not understand the dream that but it left me so happy that even Yanti was ecstatic about it,about me meeting The One, finally. For more than a year, I've forgotten. Until yesterday. The dream was right before my eyes, yesterday.

He with the gentle face. Smiling eyes. Salt and pepper hair. An unnatural tan showing how transformed he has been by the outdoors. It's a face that you can trust. More than security, there's comfort. And more than strength, there's character without pretensions. No drum rolls needed. It's him. Just him. A complete person in his own right.

I am not jumping the gun. I am not assuming. Just putting into words how a normal day, an activity that I dreaded and initially canceled, could bring a pleasant heaven- sent surprise. And the dream brings me back to me, now. How age has caught up, and work has become unrelenting. And I think of perfection. Again the physical. Until I realize I've surrendered to the Universe. That that happy, full man in my dreams will come to me, will manifest, once he sees deep within me, deep within a heart that knows what and who it wants now.

And this time, i prefer time and the old tested road of friendship. To know more, be with more, build with more. As i bid him goodbye before sunrise today, he held my hand, touched my shoulder and patted my back. We hope to see each other, soon. I hope, seriously. I will for my dream to manifest. May it be you. I will wait. I will wait for only you.

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