Influences (or Why I Write the Way I Do)

Natalie Goldberg (free-flowing writing)
Clarissa Pinkola Estes (wild woman writing)
Jane Hutchison (direct-to-the-point writing)
Ernest Hemingway (simple words writing)

Sunday, August 3, 2014

Mommy-ing

Mommy-ing is the best i can be. what i look forward to every weekend home in Naga --- especially if circumstances allow for an extra day or two --- staying till monday or tuesday here.  i would just fuss over Yaman, her breakfast, taking her to school, working home while waiting, then off again at 4pm to fetch her and bring her anywhere she likes, which in naga is nothing but --- the Malls (SM, Angena-Puregold, E-Mall).

still...i love what i do when it's just for her. that's why, looking back, in the past 4 years, the best best time was still from october 2010-february 2011. with my ongoing PhD grant, i was able to balance fieldwork, study, a love life, and a full-life with Yaman.  it fit in so perfectly that now, in hindsight, i will still look forward to a repeat, on a permanent basis if possible, of a life like this: doing a research grant, a life with a lover-bestfriend, and spending days of joy with Yaman. i can sacrifice a full-time pressure-filled work for this. that's why living life like an expat's wife wouldn't be so bad after all as long as Yaman's there and my mind's still at work, on the side.

just last week when we were at the dentist, Migs was on the line and said something to him like, 'oh, I'm a Mommy today, tending over her [Yaman].' the dentist overheard and asked, 'when you're not Mommy for her, what are you?'. " A 'Ma'am'", I replied. and we all broke out laughing. but it was not one hearty moment for me. I long to be Mommy not only on weekends, I long to Mommy her on more days than this.

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