Influences (or Why I Write the Way I Do)

Natalie Goldberg (free-flowing writing)
Clarissa Pinkola Estes (wild woman writing)
Jane Hutchison (direct-to-the-point writing)
Ernest Hemingway (simple words writing)

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Eating Vietnamese

Pho bac
Mint and sprout
Beef, shredded whole
Vietnamese coffee

Wednesday, February 25, 2015


Broke into sweat this morning. Despite sleep deprivation till 230am. Still took time with the sun salutations. One can't be so harrassed and not exercise. So tomorrow, will sweat again, and the next day. Will even try to swim at this resort in Pangasinan.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

SCTEX writing

writing with only the laptop illuminating
writing while traveling, no vertigo here Mom
writing because the rush of inspiration won't leave
writing past bedtime and the mind won't stop
i only need to pee
but still alive. happy to be alive.

The Glide

it was the swim last friday, feb 20. the skies were gray after bringing the daughter to school. there were reasons not to swim - still nursing a cough, pool water might be too cold, could be sluggish after weeks not swimming etc. but still i went. at 745am, i was ready to swim. started with the breaststroke as a warm up, 10 laps. then the 'dreaded' freestyle because this stroke usually saps my energy.

and then it happened.

the swim, the freestyle, suddenly became effortless. like i was gliding. gliding from end to end as if marking a smooth straight line along the water. effortlessly kicking, and i felt one with the water, my right hand dipping in, the left hand reaching out, the neck just swerving to catch the glimpse of blue gray skies, the hotel's palm trees and its sunlight-drenched windows. i was more than alive. i was one with the water. all the time i spent those more than 15 laps of freestyle, i was smiling. smiling while gliding. this is swimming.

i have not gone close to how Sir Mar described swimming as 'meditation'. but i quite know how to get there.

Saturday, February 21, 2015

The Next 44 Years

i have very few really deep dreams and desires that the goal for the next 44 years is to fulfill them all, and prepare the people who will be left behind to take on the responsibility, to be able to grow more what is is being built and the bold plans in the making.

at 44, i am looking outward and forward. i desire to be more to people. to be converted inside out. to give and endow more. to not just be strong, but be mighty. as i look into curbing and silencing from within the unhealthy, the distorting, the unbelieving.

44 years past, and 44 years on, you are living anew Vitti.

Monday, February 16, 2015

Crazy Violent

it's how ericson describes my personality when i'm pissed and need to take action at the same time. it's in my personality to scream, to dish out the most cutting of expressions, the harshest of words, without even cussing. like this morning, i have to put mark in his place, JR to be reminded the non-negotiables in coordination work, and ms vency, to be reminded time and again, the consequences when one's standards are relaxed. even peter was not spared. i have to talk as i'm addressing autistics - to say don't, that is not accurate, are you telling me? this is how it's done - one, two, three... is that my job or your job? don't panic and listen to me.  there is strong sense of focus, failure to be met head on. crazy violent. crazy violent to get things done.

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Three Cleaning Ladies

too much travel and work, and no time for housework. no time to clean the blinds, wipe them clean, inside and out. so for the first time, in over a year, got the services of three cleaning ladies - Manangs Ruth, Bina and Ritchie. sisters all. and organized. one does the kitchen. the other the bathroom. and the third, taking charge of wiping, sweeping and polishing. in about 60 minutes, they were finished, the house clean, especially the blinds. so will see them next in two months. two months for the condo to undergo general cleaning. as i travel, work, and can spare no more time for housework, even on weekends.

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Voice Memos

More time on the road than one's desk. I labor to write what i think feel approve resent appreciate. But as the time to write is limited, long thought analysis can only be stored through the one tool possible. The tape the phone the voice memo. It is not as fluid thorough authoritative as the written word. But it will do.

Sunday, February 1, 2015

The Turning Point

Something changed. In me. Calm, control and a sense of compassion in dealing with the difficult people, the acknowledged thorns, that are there, just there, for their own reasons. so this is how Leadership flowers, after taking root in accepting that yes, leadership starts with just being there. showing up. fronting. asking, getting consensus, moving, deciding, flowing to form. Something changed and I'm Becoming/