Influences (or Why I Write the Way I Do)

Natalie Goldberg (free-flowing writing)
Clarissa Pinkola Estes (wild woman writing)
Jane Hutchison (direct-to-the-point writing)
Ernest Hemingway (simple words writing)

Monday, August 24, 2015

Racing in Writing

have you ever raced in writing?

writing on and on despite the typo for the fingers to catch with how fast the mind is moving? it is usually with this type of 'free' writing that i find eureka moments, as if precious thoughts long imprisoned can walk freely and without care for the editor or that voice which says, oh you cannot be using language this simple.  but usually, it is on simple and conversational language that pure thought latches on.

so go ahead. write that thought going on in your head. forgrt the ttpios and release that precious sentence!

Friday, August 21, 2015

Love is Forever? Baloney.

i ditched the book 'Nights in Rodanthe'.

i wanted to believe again. and the mistake was the assumption that a work on fiction will stir up that belief.

i was wrong.

i have gone beyond stories of two lonely people, 'finding' themselves and realizing that they are who they want to have for forever.

i don't believe in 'forever' even. no one wants to love one person, forever. i cannot stand having a man, all the time, even for a day. it's just so stifling.

so beyond nicholas sparks' book where the characters get to meet and know they love one another over dinner, walks-after dinner, breakfast, walks-after-breakfast, lunch and walks-after lunch --- what is there to get? what is there to believe in, again?

oh God. i give up on love in fiction. it's never close to what realists like me have learned to believe.

one cannot love the same man forever. as none can love two different men the same way. or the same man, the same way.

love that lasts is the one that answers wants not needs.

and i want to just be me and love men, when i want to. on occasion. for special purposes. but please. none to last my next 44 years.

just let me be. and i will let men be.

Saturday, August 15, 2015

With You

perhaps i just need to let go. stop thinking about what society can accept, how things should fall in place, whether i could manage the situation as is. perhaps i should just stop thinking and let the good things come and stay. perhaps the compromise will just fly away, if we come to it. there is enough to be happy for, already. there is enough to be thankful, grateful. i am grateful that i can see, listen to, feel, follow, pray with, discover more about myself, practice, meditate and grow stronger, disciplined more, with. then it doesn't matter. to stay with. with someone like you.

Thursday, August 13, 2015

The Writing Life

The writing has to lift
Beyond one's mood.

Ok you are sad
Depressed, tired, heavy
Heartbroken, blue, tormented
Late, stretched, down

Still you have to write
As joy and pain alternate
As peace and chaos
Decorate existence
And the old and new
Forebode better times

Writing is like breathing
It has to stay on and persevere
Amid life's seasons

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

The Meaningful Sentence

in between writing on the Gratitude Journal and preparing for an Arnis class by 630am, wrote only two meaningful sentences on the thesis today. but still, it is meaningful because it is leading to better structure and clarity in thinking. so do not despair over 'little' labor. there is no such thing as 'little'. labor is labor. time on the thesis, despite the noise around, equals work on the thesis. so be kind, accept and love what is on the white page. be kind to yourself. go on get that coffee.

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Holy JC

It's enough
Just being near you
In the same space
You hearing
Acknowledging my breath
Us filling the same air
Your hands strong
The body heat you exude
Leaving me breathless
With lips pursed, smiling
The distance between us
Closing in
Thank you for being around me
Thank you for deepening my practice
Thank you for staying here, positively.

Monday, August 10, 2015

From Afar

Pogi talaga
Despite the hard look
Pogi talaga
The moles around his face
One strategic on the tip
Of that perfect nose
But he is too clean
I cannot imagine more
Yun. Hanggang dito lang
In short, IS NOT.

Monday, August 3, 2015

Writing on a Ledge

Writing on a ledge for the first time
In KL for the first time
In love with Life forever.