Influences (or Why I Write the Way I Do)

Natalie Goldberg (free-flowing writing)
Clarissa Pinkola Estes (wild woman writing)
Jane Hutchison (direct-to-the-point writing)
Ernest Hemingway (simple words writing)

Thursday, December 15, 2016

Gratitude and Mary Grace

Here, catching up with the gratitude journal and the only allowable mixed drinking when on HCG - coffee with almond milk.

Monday, December 12, 2016

A Wish for You

in my dreams, you do not talk to me. you don't even look at me. but you are there. awkwardly aware of my presence but not looking. refusing to look.

it is a shame if life is not turning out for you. if you are not happy as you thought you would. if still you are not happy with the complete package, and the end result. it really all boils down to you. the problem is you.

may you have the courage to love what you have.

Sunday, December 11, 2016

My Weight Manifesto

My struggle with gorging made me realize the following:

1. I am not a heavy eater. what affects my weight is when i succumb to breads, oats, pasta and my favorite, sotanghon.

2. I can pace eating. i can go without food for 4-5 hours. again, i am not able to maintain this amidst temptation. sometimes, i eat at shorter intervals because i chose to, and not because i have to.

3. My metabolism is haywire. i cannot not lose weight by exercising only, eating less and eating right only. it's a complete system. everything has to happen, including sleeping early.

4. I also stress-eat. like food is medicine when the workload is heavy, the Leader got upset (again), a TM or TL becomes irritating.

My values in eating are the following:

1. Adequacy. Not much to keep me full. Not deprived to keep me wanting.

2. Focus.  Weaned off from rice since 13 Jan 2011. I stick to the food plan if that's what I should be eating.

3. Fortitude. I don't cheat at all. I can wait for the right food, than cheat on what is available.

What I should improve on:

1. Discipline.  Let go, Vitti. Carbs are not good for you if they come in the form of breads, oats, pasta, rolls. Let go of these. They are not good for you. Stop justifying. Listen and heed Doc Dea's advice.

2. Saying 'no'. You have to be stronger while on the field, with your team, your best mates.

3. Getting wise. You started HCG in 2011, and after that 2 more times - one in 2014, then in 2015. and now in 2016. This is your third.  Make sure to hold on to 120-127lbs after this 4th one. You know the food, the habit, and the lifestyle that is good for you. Follow it. Stick to it.

Saturday, December 10, 2016

Gorging 2

i've written about this in 2014. the obscenity in Gorging. today, resuming HCG in just close to a year. not been too disciplined. and that amnesia when carbs; specifically, steel-cut oats are concerned. so starting this morning - kaya breakfast at Toastbox, lunch of leftover pork sigang, cappuccino and donuts (glazed and Al Capone), and dinner of combination pho soup at Pho Hoa.  obscene and just humbling. to gorge amid the poverty of the world. i will really make this HCG work for 5 years. gone with this obscenity. done with this hypocrisy.

Saturday, December 3, 2016


elaine and angel found themselves again in a major trial.

i so admire elaine. rather than sulk - she affirmed, 'mabuti na lang meron akong God. kasi nakita ko kung gaano ako ka-strong. yung times na kailangan kong mag-think straight. nagawa ko.'

despite the trial, here she is. Thanking God nonetheless for being the God that saves, the God that bestows strength.

elaine and angel will surpass this. i see something majestic coming their way.

Friday, December 2, 2016

My Morning FB Posts

it started as resistance to Rodrigo Duterte's/ the State's harshness in its anti-drugs campaign.

kept posting anti-hate quotes, about peace and justice.

until i transitioned to inspirational quotes. always posted early in the morning, every day. i believe these quotes are able to help some of my friends get through their own trials - Jean, Joey, Ma-al.

these were not meant for them. but for me. in a programmed approach to go above my demons. not to slay them as like Hydra, the demons tend to multiply. i see these demons every day. i look at them, acknowledge them, and quell them with a smile. kindness. they have no power over me, anymore.

but true. what i post every morning in FB is becoming more than just me. and i think that is a good way to be in. to do something good like this every day. to make every one of my friends who encounter the post - happy, inspired, relieved, hopeful, eager to face life, all over again, every single day.